WES Blog — Change, loss, and talking about it

I live on the best block in Silver Spring–the kind of place where neighbors have power outage potlucks and never miss an opportunity to stop and chat. When we moved in eleven years ago, the block was perfect: we liked everyone, they had been friends for a while but were welcoming to the new family, and we each played our roles in the little ecosystem we had created. 

In the last few years, my block of fourteen houses has had seven houses turn over. The reasons are all different–deaths, expanding families that can’t be accommodated, shrinking families that don’t need all that space anymore. And sometimes, changes just lead to changes: one person moves and the ecosystem shifts a little bit, and that shift is enough that another person–propelled by their own reasons, but also responding in some way to that shift–moves themselves. In many ways, the block is also changing generationally…some of the boomers have moved to be closer to grown children, and young couples without children have moved in. Each time we find out that a neighbor is moving, my children share their dismay. “Everything is changing! The block won’t be the same!” 

And they’re right. And also, wrong. The whole thing has been an incredible opportunity for my kids to learn about change and loss, to attend memorial services and visit new houses in different neighborhoods, and to see too how the neighborhood–even with all this transition–keeps much of its character. It has also been an opportunity for our family, who at eleven years is suddenly one of the longest-owning families on the block, to realize that we are part of the character-keepers. The way we greet new people, the way we gather the neighborhood together for drinks and snacks, the way we respond to the changes is part of what helps the neighborhood continue to feel special. To feel like the best block in Silver Spring. 

Sometimes my metaphors are subtle. Sometimes they’re not. There’s no big leap from what we have experienced in my neighborhood to the time that WES finds itself in. The news that Bailey Whiteman is leaving after eight years as our wonderful Music Director comes on the heels of multiple transitions over the past year, on staff and also in the community at large. I know that losing a longtime staff member can feel destabilizing, and that change in general often brings with it anxiety. Please know that I am dedicated to providing as smooth a transition as possible to ensure the continuity of the WES music program. Bailey is, with her usual care and generosity, working with me to connect us to her musician colleagues, and we will likely seek a short-term fill-in chorus director, while assembling a team to search for a permanent Music Director. 

Further, though, it’s important to me (and to the Board, who have experienced some of their own transitions) that we as a community stay connected and in communication through transition. As we enter into this program year, it has been my hope that we will have time to talk together as a congregation. To that end, we will be hosting a conversation time for all of us together. Please bring your questions, your worries, and your commitment to WES’ continued success. We have scheduled that conversation for Monday, October 7, 7-8:30pm and invite you to mark your calendars. 

I found myself saying to my daughter the other day: as you grow older, you’ll find that change happens all the time. That doesn’t make it less hard, but it does give you the ability to see the larger picture. She was skeptical, but open to learning. May we all bring both our skepticism and our openness as we navigate this time of transition together. 

~Amanda