I’m not sure if my electronic devices are helping me to be more human or not. Like many people, as I’ve adjusted to living a more socially distanced life, I have found it more difficult to keep track of time. My appointment schedule is less tied to physical location. I don’t have routines of being in different places to help me mentally keep track of my day. Fewer changes of scenery make it harder to notice as one day slips into the next, until it feels like the calendar should say it’s the 282nd day of March. Grief for those who have died, and yet whose memorial services we have had to observe online, adds to the sense of being stuck in one place. As the hours and days and months lose focus, it seems like the world stands still, but not in a good way. 

And so I turn to electronics to help me keep track of the time, the day, and the season. I have an app that tracks my activity as a move around the house and reminds me to move my body. I have another app that reminds me to take seven deep breaths several times each day. I get a friendly chime from my calendar app to remind me when a family member’s birthday is coming up. I think these things help me to feel more connected as a human being, but they also tether me to electronics in a way that feels incomplete. I do get a sense of stillness – the good kind of stillness – when I take seven deep breaths. 

The good kind of stillness can be elusive if I spend too much time reading the news. I try to be informed about the news because I want to make wise and compassionate choices. I want to know about the events that are affecting my loved ones, and where our communities might best direct our energy and resources. But there’s a saturation point where the information spills over from being helpful to being so overwhelming I don’t feel empowered to act. When that happens, I’m frozen, stuck in place, endlessly scrolling through prophecies of doom. Again, that’s the kind of standing still that’s not as good. 

The tension that comes from being aware of current events need not be something that keeps me stuck. When I can maintain awareness that motivates me to action, I can (we can) use that tension creatively. This past Sunday, I spoke about different kinds of conflict, saying that when conflict is congruent with respect and helps people articulate their ideas and values, conflict can be generative. When conflict veers into dehumanization, absolutes, all-or-nothing winners and losers, conflict is more often destructive. Generative conflict and sense of meditative stillness or inner peace can co-exist. 

In his essay, “Montgomery Before the Protest,” the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., wrote, “True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.” 

Cultivating a sense of peace, of inner stillness, that is active and creative seems to require a balancing act. Staying connected and informed helps us to work toward justice. When our actions are congruent with our values, it helps us to be at peace. Being saturated does not help us to work toward justice, and leaves only agitation. Tools that help us to keep track of time and of events in the lives of loved ones can help us to find a sense of positive stillness, reassurance of our place in the ethical manifold of interwoven relationships. Letting the tools take over rather than leading with the relationships may lead us to feel pressured. Routines that are based on phone calls, alarms, and virtual meetings might help us bring structure to our day, but perhaps there is also room for adjusting our rhythms to the daylight and darkness, finding ways to connect and celebrate the present moment in December, one that is recognizably different from the 282nd day of March. 

May these days of diminishing light lead you to restful meditation. If you are feeling frozen, overwhelmed, or stuck, I hope writing a postcard or making a phone call or taking seven deep breaths can help you find your center again. May the stillness of this season be one of feeling at home in the world, of cultivating dreams, of taking stock of our ethical actions. 

Take care,

-Lyn